I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
