george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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