haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
