i think my mom watched the whole time
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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