Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I touched a dick in church today
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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