I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
