omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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