I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize