Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
