Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
