Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
