Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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