The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
