he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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