So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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