Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I am morally bankrupt
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
