If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
