well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
