Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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