Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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