Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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