I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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