Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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