I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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