Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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