There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
