Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
