Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
