her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
