I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
the raccoons are back...
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