I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
