I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
