Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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