I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have fence marks all over my body
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
