i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
