i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
