Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
