'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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