Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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