Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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