This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
