It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
