i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
