I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
