paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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