I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
