i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do herpes really smell.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
