2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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