i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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