Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
