There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
