Nicole vs. Life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize