I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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